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Another Week, Trapped
Jun. 9th, 2025 02:51 pmMissed my weekly and weekend-ly update last week. Work's been so busy, and I've been putting way too many hours past midnight into overtime. Not that this week will be any better, or the coming month. That's the curse of this industry, I think. And I think the sooner I get out of here, the better, because it's eating into my very soul.
Things at home and in my personal life have been rough, too. There's a huge storm brewing on every single aspect of my life, and I'm just standing here without a raincoat.
Met up with an old friend from school over the weekend. We had lunch, and even though she's in a far more successful career field, she feels the exact way I do: jaded about the world, tired, and wanting to escape the rat race for good. Funny, our adult lives have just begun, and yet we all want it to be over.
The world today isn't sustainable, and I'm not even sure how long I can struggle beneath the yoke of capitalism.
I haven't been reading much, or managed to get anywhere with it or the HWQS jam project I have cooking. Like I said, my job doesn't leave much time for me to do anything else. I have basically two hours a day to myself, minus all the normal chores, travel time, trying to put myself into a relaxed state of mind, and every day I have to choose what those two precious hours could be used for.
So, yeah, it's hard. And I'm trying my best to keep everything in my life in perfect order, or at least put in substantial contribution into all aspects to appear like a functioning human being.
Most of the time, I just want to cry, and most of the time I just do. Morning and night, like clockwork. And when I'm not crying, I'm angry as hell: at this broken world, at this horrible system we've all tied ourselves to, at my life, at the luck of the life I've been born into.
Sure, things could be worst. But, shit, they could be a hell of a lot better, too.
I don't know. I'm just really tired and my mental health is in the shitter right now, so there's that.
Things at home and in my personal life have been rough, too. There's a huge storm brewing on every single aspect of my life, and I'm just standing here without a raincoat.
Met up with an old friend from school over the weekend. We had lunch, and even though she's in a far more successful career field, she feels the exact way I do: jaded about the world, tired, and wanting to escape the rat race for good. Funny, our adult lives have just begun, and yet we all want it to be over.
The world today isn't sustainable, and I'm not even sure how long I can struggle beneath the yoke of capitalism.
I haven't been reading much, or managed to get anywhere with it or the HWQS jam project I have cooking. Like I said, my job doesn't leave much time for me to do anything else. I have basically two hours a day to myself, minus all the normal chores, travel time, trying to put myself into a relaxed state of mind, and every day I have to choose what those two precious hours could be used for.
So, yeah, it's hard. And I'm trying my best to keep everything in my life in perfect order, or at least put in substantial contribution into all aspects to appear like a functioning human being.
Most of the time, I just want to cry, and most of the time I just do. Morning and night, like clockwork. And when I'm not crying, I'm angry as hell: at this broken world, at this horrible system we've all tied ourselves to, at my life, at the luck of the life I've been born into.
Sure, things could be worst. But, shit, they could be a hell of a lot better, too.
I don't know. I'm just really tired and my mental health is in the shitter right now, so there's that.
